Practice
by Just A Starving Writer
Summary: Even Akatsuki members need practice. ItachiSakura.
1. Round I

**Practice  
**_Just A Penniless Writer_

_**Standard Disclaimer Applies  
**_**_Author's Plea:_** Yes, this is Crack!Fic with little purpose other than a sweet sweet diversion from my 5 (wtf5?) WiPs. That said, I do love Itachi/Sakura, so please humor me and enjoy if you can.

**Round 1.**

"I just put them back together. Was this really necessary?"

"...Yes."

"There is a such thing as overkill."

Had she not been so ridiculously tired and drained of chakra, she might not have been so informal. However, he being a villain and a villain who did not see her as much of a threat, she knew it was for the best of the team if she remained alive and alert long enough to stabilize their injuries. Otherwise it would be more than just her corpse out in this No-Man's land.

"Are you not going to fight me, kunoichi?"

"Do I look stupid? I'm a medic. My first responsibility is to the survival of my team. And Sasuke would never forgive me."

That frank statement seemed to give him pause. However, most statements seemed to have a similar effect. She wondered if he was actually dense, or if it was just a ploy to make people uncomfortable. She suspected it was the latter.

"I should kill you."

"Probably, but that is not your mission, now is it?"

"Perhaps."

"Just go. My fight is not with you, it is to keep my teammates from dying. Really, if you were going to kill me, you would have done it by now."

"Perhaps."

"But then, that is not much of a challenge, now is it?"

"Another method then."

"Are you really going to waste your Sharingan on me?"

"You are annoying."

"Get on with it then. I have a lot to do."

When the colors of the world bled out, leaving only reds and blacks behind, she wasn't sure she'd said the right thing. But then, she hadn't expected he'd actually go through with it.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Are you ever quiet?"

"Sometimes. But I am very tired, and speech can be an effective weapon."

"Not today."

"No, not today." She paused to look around and test the bonds now holding her to the cross. "What now? I know you stabbed Kakashi-sensei for 72 hours. What's my torture going to be?"

"You are weak."

"Is that it? You're going to insult me for 72 hours?"

A slight expression of annoyance crossed his face before a sword she hadn't even noticed he had pierced her shoulder.

"Why didn't that hurt?" she asked peculiarly.

Without a word, he stabbed her again. The blood indicated the injury was true, but still...

"That tickles."

Again.

"Stop, please, I'm too tired to laugh."

Again.

"Now you are being annoying."

He paused and something that may have been anything between speculation, annoyance, and grief covered his features.

"Your mind is disconnected from your sense of pain. How?"

"What?"

"Where is your pain?"

"I could be wrong, but it might be behind you."

* * *

When he woke, the pink haired kunoichi and her injured teammates were gone. The headache plaguing him made recalling what exactly had occurred difficult. 

Then he remembered the writing on her forehead. His demonic attacker within the tsukiyomi... had been labeled Inner Sakura.

His lips curled up into a slight smirk. The girl had split her personality, or at least her mentality, in two. It was something he had never come across before and something he wished to examine further.

"Interesting, Sakura-san. The next time will not be practice."


	2. Round II

**Practice  
**_Just A Penniless Writer_

_**Standard Disclaimer Applies  
**_**_Author's Plea:_** Second verse, same as the first. Still pointless crack. Still enjoy if you can.

**Round 2.**

He was panting. She didn't know what surprised her more: that he was panting or that she was the cause.

"Can you stop now?"

"...No."

"But why?"

He merely leveled a blank face at her. She figured it was meant to be a glare, but he simply lacked the energy and expressive capability to make it.

"You are weak, kunoichi, but you are unique. Therefore, my strength in this lies in you."

"Why don't I have a say in this? You just keep stalking me, separating me off from my team, and giving me a headache."

He seemed to perk up at that. She wouldn't have noticed had they not been spending so much time together.

"...Ah. So you are affected."

"If you'd just get close, I could show you where my strength actually lies."

"I am not interested."

She paled and blushed simultaneously before infusing her hand with chakra and punching a nearby tree. The sight of mangled wood did nothing to please her.

"I meant physical strength," she said irately.

"As did I."

They were silent as they caught their breath, each irritated with the other.

"Can I go now? I don't want Naruto to start looking for me. If he sees you, he will get... fighty."

"I am not presently interested in the kyuubi."

"Maybe, but he is always ready to fight you."

"Then that is his fault."

"Not his only one. But at least he doesn't bug me like you do. And he didn't make his brother into a power-hungry avenger."

"...Perhaps."

She looked at him speculatively, taking in the infamous cloak, kaleidoscope eyes, and features that were so similar to the boy she had loved. Her medic trained eyes went beyond those painful features to pick up his weariness and the droop of his eyelids.

"Are you truly so hungry for power that you would push your brother --yourself-- into this? That you would go blind for it?"

"...Perhaps."

"That isn't an answer."

"I do not owe you one."

"You've been using me as practice for two months now. They won't even let me leave Leaf for fear that you'll run off with me. Even Sasuke seems to have gotten word of your interest, as there have been more sightings. I think you owe me something."

She had barely finished her tirade when she was sucked back into the tsukiyomi she had grown so familiar with. However, this time there was no cross to be tied to, no torture device in his hand. Her confusion was apparent.

"Why...?"

"You will make me stronger, and you will lead him to me. For that I do owe you something."

"Then don't kill him."

"I have no plan to."

Their voices faded into silence. Sakura took the time to examine the oddly shaded world around her. She was a bit amused at the interesting effect it had on her hair.

"You know," she chatted amicably, "when you aren't trying to torture me, it is nice in here."

When he didn't respond, she turned expectant eyes to him only to find a disconcerting sight.

"WOOHOO! I KILLED HIM GOOD!"

She sighed in frustration as the red world faded back into the bright colors of reality.

He was passed out, like he usually was after a confrontation with Inner Sakura, and she told herself, as she always told herself, that it was only because she took her medic training to heart that she checked his vitals and infused him with a bit of chakra to hasten his return to consciousness.

After all, while she doubted how long she'd live once his 'training' was complete, she couldn't help but grow a bit attached to him. It was in her nature to take up lost causes -- Naruto, Sasuke, and recently Gaara-sama and his siblings.

"Anyways," she murmured as she left the scene of their most recent mental sparring session, "your practice is making me stronger too."


	3. Round III

**Practice  
**_Just A Penniless Writer_

_**Standard Disclaimer Applies  
**_**_Author's Plea:_** Third verse, same as the first. Crack that only continues at the request of Certain People. Enjoy if you can.

**Round 3.**

She knew she was in for another round of needlessly imposed and exhaustive, not to mention irritating, sparring when her Hokage appointed guard suddenly fell from the tree in which he had been crouched. She managed to catch him in time and ensure the majority of his injuries were minimal before putting him into a recuperative sleep so there would be no interference.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," she said with an exasperated sigh. "If you'd just shown up like a normal person, I would have knocked him out without poisoning him." She pulled out a dart and sniffed lightly. "You used too much. You could have actually killed him."

"...Perhaps that is my goal."

"No, it is not. If you were aiming to kill him, he would be dead already. Besides, we both know you are only here for me."

"You are incorrect. I am here for myself."

"Same difference. Now can we get on with it? I'd like to get him to the hospital, just to be sure."

However, he made no move and his eyes remained mangekyou free. The complete absence of his murderous intent made her fidget.

"Well?"

"Fight me, Sakura-san, if you so wish."

She snorted delicately before giving his proposal some thought. This was different than their usual sessions, which usually included some sort of physical threat followed immediately by one or two rounds of various success in the tsukiyomi. She wondered for a moment if perhaps his eyes were getting worse from the needless effort. Perhaps he was taking this day to finally test out her other strengths instead of just her abnormal mentality.

"Just remember, you asked for it," she finally responded grimly while pulling on her gloves. She had fought and defeated a previous Akatsuki member, albeit with assistance. She wanted to at least stand her own against this one, no matter how annoying he was.

Thirty minutes later, she was rethinking her need to prove herself. While her strength was a matter of no contest, she still hadn't the speed to keep with him. Additionally, though he threw no punches of his own, he was still using his sharingan to dismiss her efforts. Overall, it was an exhausting and pointless exercise.

Or so she thought.

"Where is your instinct to kill, Sakura-san? You cannot hurt me if you cannot kill me."

"I want to maim you, not kill you." And that statement was every bit a surprise to her as it wasn't to him.

"Then you are weak, Sakura-san, just as Leaf is weak."

She gritted her teeth and prepared for an assault. He just _couldn't_ be allowed to get away with a statement like that. She wasn't as experienced as some in regards to battle strategy, but in this instance she knew all too well that a Naruto-esque attack was simply not the way to go. Instead, she worked with what she knew he was not as equipped to fight against.

Itachi later would realize that he really should have expected as much from someone who had somehow managed to split her own mentality. Instead, when he saw the two Sakuras coming towards him with two different sets of movements and two different ideas on how to defeat him, he took a second to smirk grimly.

She was learning.

She didn't actually hit him, but it was a close thing. The force of the blast was enough to crack the branch he had been standing on, making him relocate. Unfortunately, her other self seemed to have thought of that and was waiting for him.

He wasn't accustomed to an actual physical struggle, simply because it had been so long since the last time it had been necessary. However, as the kunoichi had managed to restrict his hands somehow and was doing her best to avoid eye contact, he found he had to fall back on his training and was almost grateful he had kept up his katas.

Sakura refused to go down easily, and go down she did, but not before one parting shot.

"My foot, Sakura-san? Interesting."

"You won't say that when you still can't walk on it tomorrow. Maybe I'll stay around and watch you hop around for awhile."

"There are other medics."

"With the amount of chakra I put into that stomp, you'll need more than a medic."

He was holding her down by her neck, tempted to crush it and be rid of the girl. However, she was still trying to avoid his eyes and for that he relented enough to force her gaze.

"You haven't killed me, Sakura-san."

"No. Maybe next time?"

And for _that_, he knocked her out and walked away as best he could, using chakra to lessen the strain on his left. She hadn't been kidding about how much she had damaged his foot, but the fact that she had been able to injure him outside the tsukiyomi was enough to keep him interested.

Perhaps she was more useful than he had thought.


	4. Round IV

**Practice**  
_astarvingwriter_

_**Standard Disclaimer Applies  
**__**Author's Plea:**_ Fourth verse, a tad bit different than the first. Subtitled "_Psychotically Cute_". Written awhile back, when I was bored. Enjoy if you can.

**Round IV. **

Glancing around, Sakura spotted her new and less than cheerful guard before she spotted Ino, which was less than impressive for a jounin escort. Still, as it was downtown Konoha and not the forest, she supposed his eye didn't have to be quite as sharp nor his placement as hidden.

Knowing her luck, though, the middle of Konoha would be exactly where her 'sparring partner' would decide to steal her away. And then, when he was done, she'd be locked in Tsunade-sama's office, bored out of her mind.

"Forehead girl! What's with the new guard?"

"He poisoned the last one."

"Maybe you should--"

"It's nothing, Ino-pig. Just... Tsunade-sama is worried about nothing."

"I wouldn't say being stalked by a missing-nin is nothing."

"He doesn't really _hurt_ me or anything."

"Yet." The blonde girl paused in thought while joining her companion in staring at the guard.

"He's not very good, is he?"

"Not particularly."

"At least he's good to look at." It wasn't a particularly good segue, but it was just good enough and thus the two girls quickly lapsed into a 'Cutest Nin' competition. All was well in their world until Sakura had to make a single ridiculous statement.

"You know, my stalker can be cute. There was this one time, last time he kidnapped me, when I felled a tree that nearly landed on him. He almost looked like he might be able to smile. Distracted me a good few seconds..."

It also took Sakura a good few seconds to realize that her best friend was gaping at her with disbelief.

"Your stalker? Uchiha Itachi? Cute?"

"Well, why not?" she replied defensively. "We all thought Sasuke-kun was cute, and they look a lot alike."

"It's not just about _looks_, Forehead girl! Deadly psychos are not cute!"

"Technically, Ino-pig, all the nin here are pretty deadly... And, besides, deadly things can be cute. Like those pretty frogs in the forest? Beautiful and colorful and adorable... and one touch can kill you."

Ino sighed in long suffering.

"Forehead girl... Sakura... Clan-murdering, kunoichi-kidnapping, Sasuke-torturing deadly psychos are _not_ cute, no matter how attractive they may or may not be."

"So you do admit he is attractive?"

"I've only seen his picture in the Bingo Book."

Sakura still stared at her with patient eyes.

"I suppose if one forgets the unattractive part where he killed almost his entire family... then yes, he could be considered attractive."

"That's what I thought."

"That still doesn't mean you can start falling for him. He's still a murderous psycho."

"That's ridiculous."

Ino stared at her in dawning horror.

"You could at least say that without blushing!"

* * *


	5. Round V

**Practice  
**_Just A Starving Writer_

_**Standard Disclaimer Applies  
**_**_Author's Plea:_** And, for some unexplained reason, the crack continues. Maybe by this time next year I'll have found a plot...

**Round 5.**

Sakura was confused.

She was terribly, mortally confused.

Her usual kidnapper had gone to a lot of trouble to secure her company. Her new ANBU guards (_two now! Tsunade was growing increasingly frustrated over her inability to keep her apprentice from being swept away._) had caused him a slight bit more trouble than the previous singular guard, and her location at the gate to the village ensured the presence of two more shinobi he had to defeat before running off with her.

Even then, he'd only just managed to subdue her and begin the trek to a quieter locale when a team, presumably returning from a mission, spotted them. Luckily the returning shinobi seemed tired enough that they didn't put up much of a fight and didn't follow when he took the opportunity to leave with his prize.

So Sakura was a bit confused when after all that trouble, he merely set her down and began to walk away.

"You're leaving?" she said with disbelief.

He stopped but did not turn to face her.

"Practice would be pointless today."

"Why?"

He didn't respond, or even move.

"All that trouble and you just _leave_? Are you really that tired?" she asked blankly.

"You are incapacitated," he said instead.

"I'm faking it," she responded as she stood up warily.

It was only then that he turned to face her. Though his features belied none of his thoughts on the matter, she knew better. It was more than a bit disconcerting that she knew him well enough to read into his blankness.

"_Yes_, I faked it. That genjutsu was a pain, but nothing like you seemed to think. Still, it would do no one any good if I actually put up a fight while there were others to distract you. Best if we could just get out of there before someone was seriously hurt."

"You are too trusting."

"Probably, but I also would have kicked your surprised ass had you tried to kill anyone."

"You are overconfident in your abilities or you trust me with your life."

It was a strange statement to come from him, but she still took the time to turn it over in her mind a bit before realizing with very little care that part of it was entirely true.

"Then I suppose I trust you with my life."

"You are foolish."

"I never said I wasn't. I'm incredibly foolish, but my experiences with you so far have led me to that conclusion. Anything is worth this trouble it if it distracts you from going after Naruto. You may abduct me regularly but you don't _really_ hurt me and you always let me go in the end. I've been injured more while training with my team."

"When I am satisfied with my progress, I will kill you." He wasn't making much of an expression, but she could still see the smirk.

"I don't think you'll ever be satisfied," she said with a wry grin.

"True. You are unsatisfactory." His lips twitched, and she figured it was an attempt at a grin of his own.

"Just be honest with yourself. You will never get enough of me."

She was grinning madly when she realized exactly what she was doing. The realization knocked the smile straight off her face.

"Ino's going to kill me," she whispered. "I'm _flirting_ with Uchiha Itachi."

Said Uchiha merely stared at her placidly while her cheeks bloomed in morbid embarrassment. Whatever he was thinking did not make itself known to any but himself. Instead, he stared before relaxing and sinking gracefully into a sitting position on the leaf-strewn ground.

"You are weak to form attachments to your enemy," he said only after several awkward minutes for Sakura.

"I am not forming an _attachment_ to you!" she spluttered while her cheeks grew even redder.

"Your actions say otherwise."

"My… What?!"

"You make every effort to see me alone and yet have no desire to kill me."

"That doesn't mean I'm growing attached to you! It simply means I don't want anyone else involved in this ridiculousness!"

"Your excuses are weak. You are obviously attached."

She spluttered again, and it was entirely unbecoming of a kunoichi. The following widening of her eyes and drop of her jaw did nothing to help the image.

"Why—you—You're_ flirting_ with me!"

He did not look amused, but then he never did and somehow she still knew he was.

"Ino's_ really_ going to kill me," she whispered again as she collapsed on the ground beside her tormentor.

They didn't speak nor did they spar. They simply sat with their own thoughts in silence until the slight sounds of approaching ANBU signaled his abrupt departure. She was left feeling curiously alone, even though she knew it was ridiculous.

She realized exactly how ridiculous she was when she tried to stand to greet the ANBU. At some point, without her notice, he had managed to secure her legs to the ground.

"If you're trying to get me to kill you, you're doing a great job!" she yelled with frustration even though she knew he was long gone.

* * *


End file.
